World Jim

So I'm in the locker room at my gym after work, preparing for my hour of torture, when I happen to glance at the following notice pasted inside an open locker door:



Item #1 starts us off without incident.
Item #2, however, starts to look fishy. I'm supposed to find the manager's assistance and then ask it a question? Is there a map?
Item #3 doesn't know whether it's coming or going.
And finally, item #5 has some sort of demands "arising" out of me?

Good thing this guy didn't author my membership agreement!