Like white on rice!

So there's just one scallop? Pricey.

And is "serve with rice" a command? Suggestion?



Thanks to Nick for this contribution!

This is your brain... on drugs.

Wow. How can something so small and seemingly insignificant as a menu item fill me with such rage?

Thanks to the good people at the commissary where I work, we get to enjoy not one but two consecutive examples of unnecessary apostrophes.



You work in a kitchen. We can reasonably expect you to have a grasp on the use of both "huevo" and "ranchero" as part of your professional duties.

We won't even address the clumsily placed dash after "chipotle" or the pretentious "e" at the end of "grille." Did I mention this is a cafeteria?

Spanglish

While I don't have any major issues with Spanglish per se - I actually think it can be quite fun - it seems odd that the one word in English is one that I'm quite certain there is a word for in Spanish. It's not like the word is Oldsmobile or something like that, and it's not like there are people who could read the rest of this sign and be stumped by the Spanish word for church (iglesia, I believe). So really, I'm just confused.


Personally, I think what iglesia needs is some good food and several stiff drinks. On the rocks, with salt please.


Thanks to my friend Steven for sending this in.

Rules Is Rules

Can you really enforce parking regulations while so flagrantly violating the laws of punctuation?

(More of an announcement than a warning, this homegrown winner comes from the parking area of our very own building. Rest assured that we are tortured by it each and every day.)

Are you a papper too?

Everybody loves a brunch buffet! Not even the food coma induced by made-to-order seafood omelets, cheesy lasagna, and ultra-sweet carrot cake will prevent a true vulture from snapping up this spelling blunder. The restaurant employee even took the time to run this food placard through the nearest laser printer!



How perfect are the dribbles of pepper steak goo, by the way?!

Teaser

Shame on CBS for trying to lure us into watching the news after the Grammys with an Anna Nicole Smith story.


What do the Grammys possess, I wonder?

Repeat Offender

The amazing thing is that the insane, disjunct series of words in the middle of the pump does convey the idea that you should proceed to the attendant indoors if you plan to pay for your gasoline transaction with cash.

We were even inclined to cut Valero some slack, thinking that perhaps they were a foreign company, new to the U.S. marketplace and having some difficulty with the translation (see also "Unlead"). Alas, they are headquartered in the good ol' U.S. of A. in San Antonio, Texas.

And so, dear readers, the Grammar Vultures must hereby propose our first boycott against irresponsible signage. Until Valero can post some instructions, signs, and labels that make some damn sense, we urge you to please shop elsewhere for your gasoline.

Remember that if you support bad grammar, you let the terrorists win.

Fire!

While not intrinsically wrong, there's really no need for an exclamation point here.

Since the Burbank Fire Department clearly wants to impart some urgency, wouldn't they be better off putting the exclamation point after "HIGH"? I mean, on the "FIRE DANGER MODERATE TODAY!" days - which are, admittedly, few and far between in Los Angeles County - it seems like this sign would be left with some misguided enthusiasm.

Sometimes, an editor is all what we need

I'll own it right out of the gate: it's possibly a bit cruel to Vulture a guy who, it would appear, has good intentions and just wants people to hug every once in a while. But really, if you're going to mount a campaign and register a domain and all, don't you think you should proofread?


Thanks to my sister for sending this in.

Grammar Vulture Recommends: Joe.My.God.

Not to turn your attention away from the brilliant light we shine on the Internet Superdriveway, but we very much condone adding Joe.My.God. to your daily list of work distractions. He is an amazing memoirist, and a fellow grammar vulture.

"Happy Balentime's Day"

Some friends and I occasionally bring up this most annoying mispronunciation of a word. We've all heard people pronounce it "Valentimes" or "Balentines" but one friend beats us all: he knows someone who pronounces it "Balentimes." Oy. What a struggle it must be to not correct them.

"Happy Balentime's Day" to all. We at Grammar Vulture wish you the very best.

Who is Martini?

And what is her baby doing in a bar?

I had to take this pic while standing at a urinal in the local 'mo bar. I'm sure the guys in line were really confused but I'm afraid if I explained it to them, they'd be even more confused. "Isn't there supposed to be an apostrophe if it ends in an 's'?"

Anyway, a sign promoting a new night called Luv Lounge - I won't get started on how this sort of spelling is surely causing people to think that "love" is spelled "luv" - announces Martini's Baby and Lounge DJ Rick.

Standing there, I fantasized that Martini is a drag queen and her baby is a dwarf in diapers that she carries around whilst singing "baby" songs: "Baby Mine," "Baby, Oh No," "Cry Baby Cry," etc. Wouldn't it be a great show?

It's probably just bad punctuation, though.

A closer view:

Oh, and shouldn't it be "Martinis, Baby!"?

My Suspicions Confirmed

Religion is stupid.

How soon?

Again, with the large, expensive banners on buildings! Oy.

Compliments of SYoung.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

The road to grammar hell is paved with good intentions, a pint or nine of Guinness, and complete disregard for anything resembling concise thought. As with one's favorite alcoholic libation, it is key to know when to stop.
Thanks to Mike & Liza for the introduction to Tom Bergin's and for this trainwreck of a placemat.

Now Taking Out!

I'm thrilled I sifted through the day's junk mail to find this bit of Grammar Vulture gold!

Hi Octane

I had to whip out my cell phone and capture this nugget at a Burbank Valero station. The chain - now national, I believe - of gas stations proudly heralds the availability of "unlead" gasoline. What exactly happens to regular gasoline to make it "unlead"? Would the two extra characters used to form the more logical "unleaded" take up valuable gas pump real estate? Seems they have plenty to spare!